A Heap of Chemicals

While getting ready for a Haz-Mat drill later this fall I spent a few minutes the other night researching information on the Periodic Table of Elements.  I watched a number of videos.  Some were interesting and others were not so interesting.  One did catch my eye and here is why:  A human being is just a heap of chemicals!  The list was interesting, carbon, phosphorus and, of course, oxygen and hydrogen because we are a lot of water!  So I got to thinking - what would happen if you were able to get together in one place all the chemicals and compounds that make up a human being?  Would a human appear after some time?  Would you need to mix or blend?  Clearly there is something about people that sets them apart from the heap of chemicals of which their body is made.  Isn't this the human conundrum?  Why are we here?  How did we get here?  Why is the universe the way it is?  Chemicals are one thing... people are another.  Just sayin'

Another milepost

Do you remember as a child going on a trip with your parents that took sooooo long?  You couldn't help yourself but ask "how much further?"  This never seemed to achieve the goal of shortening the trip but it did a lot for the heat under Dad's collar in the drivers seat! (Don't have it Dad!)

When I grew a bit older I was able to read the road signs and see for myself how much further to "Skooks, Halifax and Back" as the saying went in my family.

Today is a bit of a milepost in my life.  I have been married to my wonderful wife, Julie, for 37 years today!  We're going to have a nice time together later this afternoon and then have dinner at one of our favorite locations to celebrate.  The time has alternately crawled, skipped and flown by depending on what we were going through at the time.  I must say that on reflection, our time raising children went by rapidly!  That's probably hard for those of you in the middle of child raising to believe... but I am finding it to be true.  My oldest grandson will be 9 this year for crying out loud!  Seems like just a few months ago I was wondering when we would ever have grandchildren!

I'm not so worried about when we will 'get there' any more.  I want to enjoy the ride a bit longer.

What a week a work!

Someone stop the merry go round!  I wanna get off!

Since last Tuesday I have worked over 100 hrs. 
     24 Tuesday
     12 Overtime Wednesday (then slept at the Station because...)
     24 Thursday
     24 Overtime Saturday
     24 Overtime Monday

Our fire department hadn't hired anyone since 2008 even though we experienced retirements, resignations (to take other FD jobs elsewhere) and even a death from Lukemia.  The result of this has been a steady stream of overtime.  While this has been great for the checkbook it has been playing havoc on everyone in the department.   Finally this past December we hired 5 lateral FF's and today another 5 laterals started their career with us.  Still 10 new employees still don't fit the bill as we estimate we are down over 25 people.  It will slowly get better.  I'll know when I start to hear guys/gals complaining that they haven't worked overtime lately and now have to live on what they make!

On another note...  the rest of the country has been getting slammed with a really tough winter.  Here in the Pacific Northwest we have been largely unscathed... until this week of course.  There has been over 50 inches of snow in the mountains this past weekend!  That makes for avalanche problems, and snow removal problems in the passes.  Down here in the lowlands has just been several inches of rain!  (At least I don't have to shovel rain out of the driveway!)

Well... after that epic week I now have to work my regular cycle of one on one off.  That will be Wednesday and Friday this week.  So today... is a day of rest and relaxation.  Then back at it.

The 2014 Grammys - like being in church!

Hey, I usually don't bother watching the Grammy's.  It is a whole lot of self congratulation, self-promotion and 'buy my incredible record'.  However, last night I was at work and working on stuff on the computer so decided it wouldn't hurt to tune in and see 'what's happening'.  Let me tell you... it was like being in church!

Here were the messages:

All love is the same
Do whatever is your thing (with the same line of 'as long as it doesn't hurt anyone). Someone will not like what you're doing no matter what it is so go ahead - it doesn't matter anyway.
Lots of songs about 'love' (a euphemism for 'sex')
More and more about getting all you can in this life because that is all there is.

I think it is interesting that people who would be offended if they went to church and heard messages about love, forgiveness, repentance and eternity flocked to this event.  They ate up the words, nodded their heads in agreement, clapped loud and long for each performer and their message and made sure to smile big for the camera.

So really, what message brings life, health and wholeness to your existence.  What you listen to and what you tell yourself about life makes a difference.

That's my 'two cents' and a little bit of message.  Kind of like being in church...

Some books just break your heart.

This past Christmas I received a Kindle Fire as a gift from my wife.  While looking through it and getting familiar with it I saw the books I have downloaded in the past.  The Kindle Fire has the advantage of graphics that show the book cover.  There I saw the book "Broken for You" by Stephanie Kallos.  It had been at least a couple of years since I had read it so I embarked on the read once again.

Oh my.  I had forgotten the depth of emotions this book engendered in me.  It is quite an examination of life and love, pain and loss, hope and sorrow.  I am 'enjoying' it but, Oh! does it hurt!  This morning I was eating breakfast at my favorite local eatery, The Duck In, and to my surprise came upon a passage that brought me to instant tears.  I covered my face with the Kindle certain that no one in the place could understand why a 60 year old man, reading a book on a Kindle, would suddenly be fighting back tears.  Of course this caused the Kindle to do some interesting things that I had to learn how to undo, but it was a handy 'port in a storm'.  Funny thing is that the line that got me was this, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair."  Lest you think I am losing it, this line was metaphor for a woman locked in her tower of isolation and self-imposed loneliness being beckoned forth from one who understood and wanted to set her free.  It was a powerful moment.  I am still feeling it's strength and touch.  It is one reason I so love books.

Thank you for reading.  It is my chance to try and use the medium of the written word to communicate something real.  It is such a fascinating world and to be alive in such is not to be wasted or squandered.  In "Broken for You" the main character is finally spurred to action by impending death.  I want to take action (within my Scandinavian roots of course - so it may actually not look like action) motivated not so much by death but by love.

Guess I'm still thinking through the appeal to "Rapunzel".

Learning to Love what cannot be seen

These past few weeks I have been mulling over a statement made by the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 4.  He says in verse 16ff:
     "Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner
       man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for
       us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the
       things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are
       seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

The modern world, the world of science, demands that only palpable, measureable, physical 'stuff' is real.  God cannot be measured, felt, seen or heard.  The spiritual world is the same. So the modern world is in love with 'stuff'.  We are spending billions on proving that life came from other planets, that there are millions of earth-like planets out there and that on a statistical basis alone life should exist elsewhere in this vast universe.

As I live my life it is quite easy to love that which is beautiful in this world.  The scenes flash across my screen saver every day showing breath-taking scenes of beauty, tranquility and peace.

But Paul is tugging at my heart.  If I love these things I am learning to love something that will someday no longer exist.  It is temporal (even though uncountable years are involved and it will long outlast me) and not permanent.  Paul urges me to look for the things that are not seen because they are truly eternal.  This 'bakes my noodle' because how do I love something I cannot see?

Then I remember that Jesus made a simple statement: "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also".

So I am learning how to love what cannot be seen.  I want to put my treasure someplace that won't be subject to fading away.  It isn't easy to do because my eyes work so well! 

So until next time... 'looking for invisible stuff'!

The wonder of it all

Every few weeks we take the opportunity to Skype with our oldest daughter who lives in Minnesota.  What a wonder this technology is!  Here is how it goes...

There is my daughter sitting in front of the screen with our newest grandson on her lap.  Then there are three blurs flitting about, screeching occasionally, that will resolve (briefly) into one of our other three grandsons.  We try and make comments about each one IF they stay still long enough for us to see any details, what they're wearing, how they look, what they are trying to get us to see in a modern version of 'show-and-tell'.  Soon the nearly three year old is so wound up that he is literally falling all over himself and piles of brothers and the screech level approaches ear-splitting decibels.  After 15 minutes of this we are out of things to say and simply watch the mania for another 10 minutes or so and then we have to sign off!

But I love it.

I love the fact that when these boys see us on Skype it is instant pandemonium!
I love the fact that when these boys come to see us in person it only takes a brief while before they feel right at home!
I love the fact that, though it is a poor substitute for real, face-to-face communication it is almost like being right there.  We can have a conversation! (albeit punctuated by shrieks, yells, protests and proclamations - wookie dis!)

Yes.  It beats writing a letter and enclosing a picture.

The wonder of it all!

50 years of change...

As we will soon be reminded (ad nauseum) this month is the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Democratic President of the United States.  I was 10 years old and in the 5th grade at Bellaire Elementary School in White Bear Lake, MN at the time.  Since MN is in the same time zone as Texas the event occurred right around our lunch time and we were in our classroom when our teacher came rushing in clearly upset about something.  He rolled in a television and turned it on and we watched history unfold.  There was an awful lot we didn't understand and the coverage was disjointed and truncated.  The thing that I remember most is that there were no commercials!  We finally had to go home since school was over and I am sure we watched the television for coverage of the event until it was time to go to bed.

Lot's of things have changed in the world in the 50 trips around the sun since that November day.  All of us alive have had a corresponding change to our age. (Duh!) We have lived during the administration of the following Presidents who succeeded Kennedy:
    Lyndon Johnson
    Richard Nixon
    Gerald Ford
    Jimmy Carter
    Ronald Reagan
    George H. W. Bush
    Bill Clinton
    George W. Bush
    Barack Obama

The Vietnam War
The Cold War
The Iran Hostage Situation
The Fall of the Iron Curtain
The Transformation of the USSR
The First Gulf War
The Rise of Terrorism
Desert Storm
9/11
Operation Iraqi Freedom
The Occupation of Afghanistan

During this time also the world turned to computers and have experienced the exponential change computers have brought to the world.  No one had a clue what the internet was when Kennedy was killed.

Only 50 trips... loads of incredible change.  What will happen next?

I feel like a bellhop in a busy theatre

In my job as a Firefighter I come across some weird 'cosmic' situations.  The other night was just such a time...

Around 0330 hrs we were toned to assist another unit responding to an adult family home.  We were called for 'elderly male, not breathing'.  This almost always results in a CPR call - I've done a lot of CPR over my career - and so we were gearing up to join a crew with CPR in progress.  The other crew arrived and just a minute or so later advised that we could cancel.  Dispatch had said something about DNR (do not resuscitate) paperwork being completed and it must have been true.  Let me say this - DNR paperwork was one of the best things to happen to the fire service.  Now instead of assaulting someone to the grave we can just confirm that their heart has pumped its final time and let them go in peace. 

Then, just an hour later the crew that had cancelled us at the potential CPR call was dispatched for 'immanent childbirth'.  They got the opportunity to welcome a new child into the world, albeit in 'fast-forward' mode.

So in the space of one hour that crew ushered someone out of the theatre (so to speak) and then ushered someone new into their seat.

Cosmic bellhops.

At your service.

Sic Transit Gloria

I have been struck lately by the thought of how things are always in transit.  Whenever I get frustrated by things at work I stop and realize that this isn't going to be my workplace for very much longer. 

All we are
    is dust in the wind
           dude.

Now it would be quite easy to make the step towards what is called nihilism.  Nothing matters, nothing changes, it doesn't matter what you do, how you live, what choices you make.  It will all come to nothing in the end.  Therefore (to quote that famous twosome)   Party on dude!

Interesting that Scripture says that we will give an account for every word we say!   Seems to go against that view that nothing matters, eh?

I am now the age I remember my grandparents being when I was a small child.  Time will pass and my grandsons will be sitting at a computer in the future and... you know, I don't know where they will be sitting in the future!  What I hope is that they will remember me with fondness, with a certainty that they were loved and cherished by those who went before.

I love reading Norm Maclean's "A River Runs Through It".

    "It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.
     Now nearly all those I loved and did not understand when I was
     younger are dead, but I still reach out to them."

Fortunately for me nearly all those I loved (and did not understand) are living and I still reach out to them.  Last quote from the famous twosome - Be excellent to each other!

Profundity and all that.

There are times in life when it would be nice to have a trove of profound thoughts and sayings stored up for use in the perfect moment.  All too often though, I find myself seeing the perfect moment slip by without so much as a word.  In fact I usually find profound moments in my 'rear view mirror' instead of coming attractions down the road.  Isn't that the real world anyway?  How many cringe worthy events can you recall where your profound comment was limited to 'duh?' or 'what did you say?'  I can think of four or five moments right off the top where I recall my comment or response with absolute clarity to the point that I can make myself blush!  Some of those events happened 40 or more years ago too!  Why don't I have great moments of profound wisdom rolling from my lips in that same dead light of clarity?  Perhaps this is why... I am not the one who gets to declare a thought or statement as profound.

Drat!

Perhaps this is also why we can appreciate poetry or music as the writer or composer has the luxury of spending quality time over the phrasing, tempo, metre and lilt. "If I had that kind of time, energy and expertise I too could compose a sonnet, write a top 10 hit, or have my work quoted in school papers everywhere."  Dream on buddy!

So I will have to let this blog scratch that proverbial itch and leaving it up to you, the reader, to decide if any 'pearls' escape to be quoted some day later on.

So here are a couple of pearls that I have found in birthday cards over the years.  My family will attest to the fact that I still have some of these in my possession!

"When it comes to friends you are a peach."  (Then inside the card) "Well, except for the fuzz and that 'butt crack' thing."

A Birthday Poem

"It's easy to smile
when your ship comes in
and your friends all like you a lot.
But brave is the man
who still can smile
when his shorts creep up in a knot!"

(And my all time favorite!)

[Picture of a rather portly couple in the kitchen of their home]
We've given up sex for eating.
(Inside the card)
Now we can't even get in our own pants!

Hope you have enjoyed my 'moments of profundity'.

I have.

A New Computer

Last time I tried to post something on this blog the computer I was using just didn't cooperate.  It finally stopped all together at the end of September.  It was off to the store and we came home with a new computer.  It is so much better.  Perhaps now I will be able to 'blog' a bit more regularly.

So.

Since my last post:

- I have turned 60 years of age.
- I have completed my 23rd year of full time firefighting.
- We purchased a newer vehicle than the ones we are currently using.
- We had a visit from my folks.
- We had a reunion of fellow alumni from VBC.
- This is the 40th year since I was in the 1973 EC.

So I am pretty sure that anyone who was reading this blog regularly gave up on me.  So here is hoping that I will be able to get this restarted.

No promises mind you, just hopefulness.

I like...can't write a thing in this blog... literally. What's wrong? I suppose I could put it all in the title..

The calm before the storm

In just a couple of days our calm and quiet life is going to be changed for 3 weeks.  Our grandchildren, along with their mother, are coming for an extended visit.  The grandsons are 7, 5 and 2... so now you can begin to appreciate how our quiet and solitude will be broken.  There will be games, there will be reading of books, there will be disagreements among them, specific chairs will be occupied "until you can get along".  Everything breakable from 4' on down is being stowed away or secured in a higher location.  What will get broken this time?

Don't get me wrong: I am happily awaiting this trial by child.  Once I lived this life and looking from the inside out wondered what life would and could be like.  Now that I now longer am living full time with little people I am on the outside looking in.  I am pretty certain I prefer it that way.

Today, at a church event, I saw a young father and mother with their 3 boys just a little younger than the grandsons I have described above.  Dad was holding the youngest in his lap and doing his level best to keep the boy occupied and relatively quiet.   I had a flashback to my days with similar goals and I smiled and (perhaps) shed a tear to two remembering my little guys and gals!  I loved having kids!

I also love having grandchildren.  But years have gone by since I had to live with them and so there will be a bit of an adjustment as I slide back into the 'higher energy level' required to make things work.  This is what I mean by 'storm'... a change to the pace.  I think it is a good thing that you have your children when you yourself are young.  Yes, it would be better to import the knowledge and wisdom gained by your parents like a mysterious computer transaction.  Yet the energy you can bring to the table helps you get through those times when your wits have abandoned you and you just have to outlast 'em. (or send them to bed!)

Bring it on!  I am ready. (I hope)

Death be not proud

Sorry for the ominous heading but it sprang to mind after what I learned this week.

On the first day of my last shift I read an e-mail from a fellow Captain in our department.  In the e-mail he announced that he had been diagnosed with a form of pancreatic cancer.  He assured all of us that it was not the kind that usually kills in 6 months or less.  Still his only optimistic line was that he may have 10 years if his aggresive treatment regimen was successful.  Now, this fellow Firefighter is 45 years old.  He has a young daughter.  He is facing a grim outcome with an open ended date.

Oh how this hit me!  I sat and quietly cried for a minute or two as the horror of it all sank in.  So sad.

As firefighters we see death almost every cycle we work.  Very often it is an older person who died after long years of life.  Sometimes it is a young person in a car wreck or perhaps some trauma like GSW or stabbing.  Occasionally it is a middle age person who, like my firefighter friend, received a life altering diagnosis some months or years before.  But the truth of the matter is that we will all see death because it is an inescapable part of life.  It isn't a welcome part of our culture and that is why we try to hide it away whenever possible.  Our elderly are neatly tucked into "Assisted Living" or "Long term care" or "Adult Family Home".  All of these are clean euphemisms for a very ugly process... because getting old and dying is so very often ugly and filled with body fluids and disfiguring events.  I understand it.  I get it.

So what am I trying to say?  There is comfort and courage to be found in the way faith faces this certainty of life.  I can't imagine life without it.

Meanwhile... I will pray for my fellow Captain and his family.  God grant him the strength and the grace to face what will surely confront us all.

Oh Dear!

I see that it has been well over a month since I last posted anything to this blog.  That is almost a guarantee that anyone who was reading it will give up on me!  But I find it very hard to write about the mundane events of everyday life as if it were something to write about!  Call me 'old fashioned' if you want to but it is very difficult for me to write something about nothing.

Beginning December 20th my youngest son and his wife have been traveling the world.  They have begun in South America, Peru to be specific and now, one month into their travels they are about to visit Quito, Ecuador.  I have really enjoyed their blog as they post regular pictures and events of their trip.  Combine that with a bit of Google Earth and viola!  I get to travel vicariously and don't even have to leave home to do it! 

Of course this past month found us putting up all the Christmas things, celebrating Christmas and New Years and now we are putting away the Christmas things.  Wait 'til next year!  So far this winter we have not had any measurable snow here in the Puget Sound and I hope sincerely to keep it that way.  Saw on the news yesterday that Chicago Fire had a big warehouse fire and with the temps at or below zero the water was freezing quickly!  What a mess!  Those poor guys and gals!  That was the kind of fire where you are not going to risk anyone by going inside but you know that you can't put the fire out from the outside so all you can do is pour tons of water on it.  Only in this case the tons of water quickly becomes tons of ice!  It encases everything and changes the weight of the building... ugh.

My own firefighting experience this past six weeks or so has been mostly taking care of flu patients.  Why is it that some people just immediately call 911 when they are throwing up?  You're sick!  Put on your stetson and man up!  Going to the hospital won't make it better and you will be miserable at the hospital just like you were miserable at home!  I guess some people just can't properly enjoy their misery unless they spread it around to others!  'nuf said.

No promises now about more frequent posting.  I'll just do my best.

Then I'm gonna go over there...

I have found blogging to be harder than I thought it would be at first.  I just can't get psyched up to write something especially if it is mundane stuff... we went over here and then I'm gonna go over there...  that level of mundane stuff I cannot stomach let alone post.  I am reminded of a song by one of my favorite artists (Jackson Browne)  who put it this way

...Let the disappointments pass
Let the laughter fill your glass
Let your illusions last until they shatter.
Whatever you might hope to find
Among the thoughts that crowd your mind
There won't be many that ever really matter...
                                                                       (The Only Child)

You could take that section as un-diluted pessimism but I think the author is just pointing out truth - there just isn't that much that we say or do day to day that is earth shattering!  But that doesn't take away from life in my book...

So I find it hard to be a regular and consistent blogger.

I hope you won't hold it against me.

Would you like living with a person like this?

I don't get it.  Half the world lives like this and I think it is crazy.  This other half of the world has a certain religion.  Any time some nut job criticizes them or in some other way offends their sensibilities they fly off in a rage and act out like bad behaving children.  Only it is real!  Deadly real! 

You and I live in a world here in America where if someone says or does something you don't like... you deal with it and move on.  We have grown a thick skin because we have learned that no matter what you do or what you say someone somewhere won't like it.  We don't go off rioting and burning and pilaging and looting (usually) every time some insult (real or imagined) is hurled our direction.  My advice to the rest of the world that lives like this?  Get over it.  Who would want to live in a world like that anyway?  Toe the party line.  Don't get caught speaking ill of the Grand Poobah!  What an awful thing!

Of course, the tendency for us in the USA is to say "To hell with them!"  Then we hear all about letting the rest of the world try to function without all the millions and millions of our hard earned dollars going to prop up those crazy regimes that turn and attack us every time they get offended.  I know it would be bad policy but it sure would feel good!

If you don't agree with me, I won't be offended.

The bluest skies you ever saw...

I love living in the Northwest but especially in the months of August and September.  Those two months are usually rain free and often are clear blue skies and nice warm median temperatures.  This year has not been an exception.  We have enjoyed many consecutive days of blue.  I like to look at it as building up the bank for those times when it rains twice a week... once for 3 days and once for 4.

Keep it up!

The Hot Water Adventure

For many years we were renters.  We made that choice because we wanted a certain lifestyle for the kids.  We could have bought a home in almost any residential tract (within reason of course) but we wanted to be where there were woods nearby, large fields for horses and other animals.  So I was quite used to calling the homeowner when some major appliance stopped working.

The Saturday of Labor Day weekend I recieved a call from my wife while at work telling me there was no hot water.  She had checked the HW tank and concluded it had died a natural death.  The Saturday of Labor Day weekend is not a good time for a HW tank to die.  I still had to work on Monday and then again on Wednesday for my debit day (see yesterdays post regarding that moment of fun in the sun).  So it was back to primitive life for us.  If you wanted a bath, heat the water on the stove.  If you needed clean dishes heat the water for a sinkfull and wash them by hand.  It was getting old for my wife and daughter (I showered at work each of the affected days!) but we wanted to take the time to purchase the right tank for our home.

On Tuesday the purchase was made but we couldn't pick it up until Thursday due to the late hour of the purchase and my working on Wednesday.  So Thursday afternoon we get it home.  My wife and I wrestled it into the house and then slowly slid it down the stairs to the basement that would be it's home for many years to come.  I took it out of the carton and moved it to the spot... it was over a foot taller than the old one!  Now the water connections were right at the level of the top of the HW tank - no good.

So we called a plumber to come and move the connections up a bit.  Once done (and a few $$ later) the electrical connection was made, the lines purged of air, the tank full of water and the hot water lines all full and running - my wife flipped the breakers and ...

Hot water!

I suspect there will be more of these events in the life of my home ownership.  May they be solved with a similarly low amount of problems!